What's in my medicine cabinet

Several years ago I wrote a blog post called “What's in My Medicine Cabinet”.  I thought it timely to update that blog post after my son and I recently recovered from the influenza virus that's doing the rounds of Sydney and beyond. This years' strain is a particularly nasty one and most wholefood heavyweights like myself that usually don't succumb to anything have fallen victim.  Poor Will had to take a week off school- his very first school sick days ever! And Mother Nature forced me to be bed ridden for 2 whole weeks to recover and re-couperate. It's been 19 years since I had the influenza and boy was it a shock to my (usually resilient) system. There’s also the 100 day cough and a myriad of other particularly ferocious variations that have left a trail of devastation in their wake. It seems like every second person I talk to has a story of almost being left for dead. 

It's not uncommon for most people to be down and out for 10-14 days with influenza. Antibiotics don't help at all with viruses - only with bacterial infections (and their deleterious effects on gut flora means that they are a last port of call for me if all else fails). Pharmaceuticals typically have negative side effects and are full of questionable ingredients. So it then becomes a waiting game (time) combined with the administration of natural remedies that support the body through the illness and provide some symptom relief. 

While I was ill,  I was very frequently asked “So what are you taking?” And indeed this is a question that many mothers frequently ask me when they or they children fall ill. So I set out below what I was dispensing to my little man and myself to bring us back to vibrant health speedily (with the usual caveat of course that I am not a medical doctor and I simple share what I know works from my own personal experience):

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1. Herbal tonics

My trusted naturopath Anthia Koullouros of Ovvio Organics once gave me the best advice- if you don't get over something within 3 days then reach out and get herbal support. It's not a sign of weakness. Don't be stoic and try to plough through it. When your immune system is compromised so profoundly, herbal tonics can provide tremendous support and speed up recovery. 

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2. Herbal teas

Herbal teas like Marshmellow Root and Rise & Shine from Ovvio Organics can soothe a sore throat and keep you hydrated. Even if you don't feel like eating it's important to keep fluids up! 

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3. Bone broth

A good home-made bone broth from pastured animal bones helps to detoxify and is easily digested to provide instant energy. Even if you don't feel like eating, a cup of bone broth with flavour bombs of fresh lemon juice, grated ginger and minced garlic, always goes down well. You might have heard of the Chinese proverb that “a good chicken broth brings back the dead”. Well there is science to back up this ancient wisdom. Chicken soup has been shown, in an in vitro study, to inhibit the neutrophil migration that triggers the onset of common cold symptoms. I was consuming 2-3 cups per day either alone or as a base to a soup or slow cooked casserole.

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4. Organic Chicken Livers

Livers are the most nutrient dense foods on the planet bar none- especially high in iron and vitamins A, D and K2. These are important nutrients for healing and recovering from illness. Chicken liver pâté smeared on veggie sticks, quality sprouted or sourdough bread, cucumber rounds or sliced apple rounds is a very palatable way of consuming livers. Me, I'm happy to consume them pan-fried in butter with some herbs and spices and a splash of balsamic vinegar (much like a minute steak). My kids love them diced up with chopped livers and bacon as the filling to a san choy bow. Or rolled in rashes of bacon with a sliver of date secured with a toothpick and oven baked with a drizzle of NuiLife BBQ sauce. Sneaky bolognese or sneaky shepherds pie are other ways to sneaky in livers along with the minced meat. I give out full recipes and loads more ideas in my organ meat workshops (stay tuned and check out the Workshops page of my website for upcoming dates). We typically consume livers once a week but increase to at least 2-3 times a week in times of illness. 

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5. Cod liver oil

Cod liver oil is also high in vitamins A, D and K2 as well as omega 3. My kids and I consume 1 teaspoon most days all year round but it becomes even more important when we are ill. I sell the Green Pastures brand at Broth Bar & Larder as my research shows that it's one of the best on the market. The source and processing of cod liver oil is especially important as the heat sensitive omega 3 oils need to be very carefully extracted to avoid rancidity through heat processing. There are several options with the Green Pastures brand – if you don’t have any intolerances to dairy the one with high vitamin butter oil is best as the saturated fats help with the assimilation of omega 3s. The gel is also better value than the capsules (if you can stomach the taste). Best to put on the tip of your tongue (as opposed to mixing into anything!) and immediately chase with a smoothie or some water. 

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6. Raw Sauerkraut

Sauerkraut (fermented cabbage) is detoxifying and full of probiotics that can exert their ninja moves on the nasty pathogens in our system. Drinking kraut juice is another potent option, albeit a tad harder to get into your kids ;-) 

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7. Beet Kvass

Beet kvass is an age-old fermented beverage made from beetroots. It is probiotic-rich, detoxifying and blood building. And another great source of fluids. A little goes a long way. 

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8. Olive leaf extract

Olive leaf extract is touted for its immune building benefits. Oleuropein is the active chemical component/ingredient found in olive leaves. It is a naturally occurring antioxidant and has powerful antibacterial properties. 

Like everything, not all olive leaf extracts are created equal. My research, and conversations with the owners of leading companies, shows that the one made by Vabori is the highest quality in the Aussie market. I picked this bottle up from The Health Emporium in Bondi but see list of stockists on the Vabori website or purchase direct from their online store. 

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9. Homeopathic tissue salts

These are my first port of call before I start on the herbal tonic. Kali Mur Glandular Tonic is designed for mucous congestion, coughs, glandular swelling, tonsilitis and sore throats. It basically mops up excess fluids. Ferr Phos First Aid works well at the very first onset of respiratory ailments and is designed to reduce inflammation. It's my go-to natural Panadol. Remember that healthy swaps is the name of the game. They are very affordable and sold at most health food stores. I tell my mama bear clients to always keep a stash in their house when sniffles or illness strikes. 

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10. Coconut oil

I recommend oil pulling to speed up detoxification as well as using it in cooking. Even though I much prefer the taste of butter, when ill I turn more to coconut oil for its anti-bacterial, anti-microbial, anti-fungal, anti-viral, and anti-inflammatory effects. i.e. it kills bad bugs! 

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11. Therapeutic grade YL Essential oils

The latest research shows that essential oils:

• are highly oxygenating - they carry the highest level of oxygenating molecules of any substance known to mankind

• are detoxifying - they push toxins out of our cells

• are mineralising - their very function is to carry nutrients into cells.

• contain negative ions and ozone- an environment where pathonogenic bacteria can't survive.

There are over 150 hospitals in U.K. alone using and prescribing essential oils for treatment!!

Young Living's R.C. (Respiratory Care), Thieves blends and Lemon are my 3 go-to oils for colds and flus. 

Thieves is an antibacterial blend of Clove, Lemon, Eucalyptus and Rosemary.  Compounds called phenylpropanoids are found abundantly in Clove (90%). These compounds can create conditions where unfriendly viruses and bacteria cannot live. 

Another important function performed by phenylpropanoids is that they clean the receptor sites on our cells. Without clean receptor sites, cells cannot communicate, and the body malfunctions, resulting in sickness.  Thieves is highly effective in supporting the immune system and overall good health. 

How I've been using Thieves:

• diffusing throughout the home to kill airborne pathogens (not a hardship as it smells like hot cross buns!)

• inhaling straight from the bottle

• applying a drop neat on the bottom of our feet for an internal boost.

R.C. is a blend of 3 different types of eucalyptus oils (Eucalyptus Globulus, Eucalyptus Radiata, Eucalyptus Citriodora,) with Myrtle, Spruce, Peppermint, Pine, Lavender, Marjoram, Cypress. It smells like a pristine pine forest and opens the airways to reduce congestion. 

How I've been using RC:

• diffusing throughout the home

• inhaling straight from the bottle

• steam inhalation (add a few drops to a bowl of boiling water with a couple drops of peppermint oil and put a towel over your head. Breathe deeply and be sure to keep your eyes closed. Put sunglasses on little ones as these oils are so potent they can create a burning sensation!)

• 1-2 drops as a chest rub diluted in olive oil (a natural Vicks!)

• applying a drop neat on the bottom of our feet for an internal boost.

Lemon essential oil (made from the lemon rind) is anti viral. I've been adding a drop to water in a glass or jug (never from a water bottle that contains any plastic). 

I've been using other essential oils like frankincense and a blend called Purification as well. 

I will say upfront that like everything not all essential oils are created equal. This was a big surprise to me. The benefits that I allude to above may not apply to other essential oil companies. There are spin off companies and many copied oils now flood the market. In fact Thieves and R.C. are the 2 most copied essential oils on the market but no one can come close to the founder of Young Living, Gary Young's master oil blending techniques, his use of the most advanced equipment in the world and the arsenal of world class scientists that he employs. Moreover my research and independent research shows that Young Living Essential Oils are the most pure and potent on the market as well as being TGA food grade as well as therapeutic. Not all essential oils are therapeutic even if they're certified organic. This is the only oils company that I trust and exclusively because of their transparency and because of their robust scientific analysis that measures purity and potency for each and every single batch of oils produced. They are the world's leading and largest oils company for good reason as well as one of the oldest (over 25 years). This is the oils company that most practitioners and professionals use. Do your research thoroughly and I'm happy to share with you my 12 questions that I ask when choosing an essential oils company. My research shows that Young Living is the only oils company that can tick all those boxes. I have a similar list of questions when buying everything from meat, milk, salt, produce and everything in between. I always seek out the best quality and am not influenced by trends or wealth creation. I'm driven by one thing - the highest quality- and I just love sharing what I know and what works best. 

A word of warning- unlike other brands these oils are so potent that a little goes a very very long way. Treat them like a powerful medicinal tonic as that's what they are. 

For information on how to purchase Young Living Essential Oils click here. Once you read that document feel free to call me on0407 871 884 to discuss any questions. I'm more than happy to help and am directly contactable to answer your questions. 

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12. Vitamin C rich foods

Vitamin C is important for healing and immunity. I used to take the Loving Earth Gubinge vitamin C powder but in recently years I simply use generous amounts of lemon juice in my bone broth and on my food, especially cooked leafy greens (being Greek after all), and I also ingest a drop of the Young Living food grade lemon essential oil in a glass or jug of water as mentioned above.

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13. Epsom salt baths

When cold or flu has gotten into your bones, nothing beats the feeling of sinking into a hot bath. Not only does it feel good, but Epsom salts add minerals (especially magnesium) which relieve achy muscles. My osteo-skeletal system is my weak link so when the virus hit, my muscles and joints became sore and achy. I'll also add 5 drops of Young Living lavender essential oil (to calm the nervous system) and 1 drop of Young Living Frankincense essential oil (which is highly oxygenating). 

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14. Sunshine

Nothing beats sunshine for vitamin D (and don't forget the importance of cholesterol rich foods for converting that sunshine into vitamin D in the first place!). As I'm typing this I'm lying on my trampoline in sports bra and undies trying to lap up as much warmth as possible. I forgot how deliciously hypnotising the sun is when it releases those feel good hormones in your body. I'm going to make a concerted effort to get 20 minutes of sunshine in the midday sun per day. Eat your lunch outdoors then close your eyes and breathe. This could be the way to team meditation into your day too. Stress management + sunshine in one fell swoop. 

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15. Rest rest rest! 

Rest and sleep should be placed número uno for illness recovery. Rest affords the body the opportunity to heal and recover. When resting you are conserving energy that your body needs to fight off the virus. You will win the war faster the more you rest. Unfortunately for me, I suck at this. The hardest thing for me to do in the world is to do nothing, especially when I know that there are so many things that I want to do or need to be done. I learnt from post war migrant parents who grew up in poverty that you need to work hard and be busy getting stuff done ALL. THE. TIME. Even with the influenza virus scouring through my bones I found it difficult to rest up as much as I should. Doing work from your phone doesn't count as rest (learnt that one the hard way too and it set me back a couple days in my recovery). Resting up with the demands of being a mum (especially a single mum running a business) is bloody hard at the best of times! After all there are school pick ups and drop offs, packing of school lunches, making dinners, laundering of uniforms, packing and unpacking dishwashers to name a few "non negotiable" demands on our day. Call on friends if need be and just do the bare minimum to spend as much time resting to conserve energy! 

If nothing else this virus was a timely reminder that scheduling time for rest into my each and every day is not a luxury but a down right necessity. We need to meditate or just chill out doing nothing to calm our nervous system from the constant bombardments of modern life, so that when life does throw us a curve ball in the name of an illness, we have the resilience to dodge it. 

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16. Nutrient-dense wholefoods

It goes without saying when you are ill we should continue to eat a solid nutrient-dense traditional wholefoods diet (to the extent that you can stomach solid food at all) rich in pastured meats (bone in with the fat is the best as well as the tastiest!), wild seafood, organ meats, fermentred foods, pastured eggs, fresh fruit and veggies, activated nuts, and unirradiated herbs and spices. If grains and legumes are consumed please make sure they are properly prepared through soaking, sprouting and fermenting (eg sourdough as opposed to yeasted bread) to reduce phytates and other anti-nutrients naturally found in them. Avoiding all processed foods (refined sugar, refined gluten, industrial seed oils, artificial ingredients) becomes even more paramount when the body is fighting a virus - the last thing it wants to do is expend energy on detoxifying processed foods as well. If mucous is present I tend to avoid dairy until the illness passes. 

It is not uncommon to not feel hungry at all when you have influenza or other illness. Your body is wanting to conserve energy for healing instead of digesting. If you don't feel like eating, pay heed to that but it's really important to keep up fluids and when you do eat make sure it's nutrient-dense to get the most bang for your buck. Make sure your water is pure or filtered (I recommend a reserve osmosis water filter from The Water Shop- mention my name for 30% discount) and be sure to add some unrefined salt to your water (for the reasons set out here). 

Eating a solid nutrient dense wholefoods diet with plenty of salted water all year round provides such a strong foundation of health that if and when your system succumbs to a virus or infection you are able to recover from it far more quickly. Instead of being out of action for 2 weeks you might instead bounce back after a few days. For more information on what we as a species are designed to eat and not eat, meal planning, where to buy wholefoods from most affordably, how to prepare food to maximise nutrient density and reduce anti-nutrients, and how to transition from a conventional diet to a nutrient dense wholefoods diet joyously and painlessly, consider a one on one health coaching session with me in person or over the phone. 

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THE COMMON THREAD...

What all the above things have in common is this: they all come from nature. Herbal tonics, olive leaf extract and essential oils come from plants, wholefoods come from nature, sunshine is nature's medicinal blanket and rest is something engrained in the very fabric of our DNA but we often forget to schedule it in, amidst the busy-ness of modern life. Don't underestimate the healing properties of Mother Nature. She has our best interests at heart. If we use her bounties mindfully and in the right doses, her medicine can be just as potent and healing as any pharmaceuticals without any harmful side effects. 

For all those who like me succumbed to the flu this year- I wish you a speedy recovery and I hope that some of the above natural remedies are helpful to you. Now I'd like to hear from you. What's in your "medicine cabinet" that I haven't already mentioned? I'd love to know!

In my next post I will be writing all about why getting ill can sometimes be the best thing that ever happens to you and can be game-changing experience.

Gluten-Free Baked Cakes Workshop

I am excited to be running a series of gluten-free baked cakes workshops limited to 10 people each. 

Fewer things delight more than the smell and taste of a freshly baked cake. We eat for pleasure just as much as for nourishment and sustenance. But the key to dessert consumption is maximising quality and minimising quantity! You do this by using only nutrient-dense ingredients and removing all the empty fillers. When you eat real food, your body gets its fix and fill super fast!  

Even if you don’t have a sweet tooth, there are certain special occasions in life which require us to provide forth a cake- such as a child’s birthday or a dinner party. I will show you how you can make your own home-made nutritious and delicious version very quickly and simply, without resorting to the store-bought variety (which are often laden with processed and questionable ingredients). 

IN THIS WORKSHOP I WILL … 

…teach you my renowned craft of how to make delicious super-simple fuss-free baked cakes made exclusively with nutrient-dense ingredients, no empty fillers, minimal natural sweeteners and with as few steps and ingredients as possible. I will reveal all my baked cake recipes with you using a basic fail-safe “formula” that I have developed and fine-tuned for over a decade. We will make and bake 2 cakes together using 2 different gluten-free flour substitutes and compare them to 2 other pre-made cakes made with 2 other gluten-free flour substitutes. By the end, you will rest assured that you can have your cake and eat it too ;-) 

I will discuss and showcase raw cakes and tarts in another workshop. 

COST IS $140 PER PERSON AND INCLUDES: 
 

•  Detailed theory discussion on traditional cake ingredients focusing on my favourite gluten-free flour substitutes, natural sweeteners and traditional fats
• Detailed workshop booklet including theory & recipes based on my go-to cake “formula”
• Practical demonstrations
• Hands-on experience
• Tasting several different cakes each made with different gluten-free flour substitutes 
• Opportunity to ask questions and purchase pastured butter, several gluten-free flour substitutes, maple syrup and lots more!! 

THIS WORKSHOP IS IDEAL FOR: 
 

•  Those who are interested in making their own home-made cakes very simply, quickly and fuss-free using only nutrient-dense ingredients (in other words, a truly healthy cake)
• Those who are grain-free or gluten-free
• Those who want to transition off cakes containing processed or other questionable ingredients and want a healthy substitute for themselves or their family members
• Those who want to take their health and well-being to the next level by understanding the role of sugars, gluten and fats in the body
• Those who want to try new delicious guilt-free things!
• Those who attended by cakes workshop in the past as the recipes have been fine-tuned and streamlined

THIS WORKSHOP MAY NOT BE IDEAL FOR: 
 

• Those with egg allergies or sensitivities. This is because I am a traditional cook and all my baked cake recipes contain eggs, as a nutrient-dense cake riser and binder. If you fall into this category you are more than welcome to attend and not consume any of the cakes and simply experiment with your own egg substitutes at home.
• Those with butter sensitivities.  A couple of the cakes I will be showcasing will contain butter. If you fall into this category you are more than welcome to attend and not consume any of those cakes and simply substitute another natural fat in your cake recipes at home.

WHEN AND WHERE:

When: Choose from..

SEPTEMBER 13th, 2017

Class runs from 6:30PM – 9pm ish. Please diarise to arrive by 6:20pm at the latest so that we can promptly kick off by 6:30pm. 

Where: BROTH BAR & LARDER, 49 BELGRAVE STREET, BRONTE (FREE STREET PARKING)

TO SECURE A SPOT
 

To secure your spot, CLICK HERE and simply follow the steps to checkout and purchase your place in this workshop. 

Cancellation Policy; Please note that once payment has been made, it is non-refundable and your place can not be moved to a different date. If you can not make it due to last minute unforseen circumstances, feel free to gift your place to a friend and let me know. Thank you for your understanding. 

The Art of Softening (and the 10 ways that I have softened)

Hey sister, haven’t your heard or felt of a special kind of global movement that is afoot? A movement where women the world over are tapping into their feminine (and still climbing corporate ladders without being the stereotypical ball-breaking executive who leaves a trail of devastation in her wake). A movement where women are recognising their divine power (rather than always playing small), and acknowledging their sexiness (rather than hiding it or being ashamed of it). 

As an A-type personality, uber driven, organised and ambitious person, who always excelled at anything I put my mind to, “soft” is not a word that would ever have been used (either by myself or anyone else) to describe me. Up until recently. “Soft” conveys weak, flaky, fluffy, flighty and ineffectual. Or does it? 

A few friends have commented recently “Soulla, you’ve really softened”. Whilst in the past I would have been affronted by such an observation, today I see it as nothing short of the greatest compliment. A beautiful yin counterbalance to my raging yang. A sign of stepping into, and celebrating, my feminine, while simultaneously holding fort as an entrepreneur and business woman. How did this happen? Like most profound changes in life, it happens slowly, and gradually, until it morphs into every aspect of your daily life, typifies your actions and thoughts, and eventually becomes a way of life. 

One of my close friends, recently summed up her realisation of her greatest frustration with herself: “I’ve hardened. I constantly yell at my kids, I’m short-tempered. I’m bossy. I’m exhausted. I’m constantly frowning. I would be unattractive to any man right now. I’ve become too hard.” I’ve walked in those shoes. For most of my life. And many 40-something year old women that I interviewed confessed feeling exactly the same way. On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 1 feeling “soft and feminine”, and 10 feeling “hard”) almost every woman that I spoke to ranked themselves higher than a 6. And they were not happy about it. 

Being hard, it seems, it not something that the women of today want to be. And not something that I would have thought our male counterparts find particularly attractive. 

Even a cursory perusal of social media streams and print media clearly show that more and more woman today are embracing, or wanting to embrace, their femininity, and take a gentler, softer approach. 

How did we women get to become “so hard”? How did we dial up our masculine energy at the expense of the feminine? While the Germaine Greer feminist movement in the latter half of the 20th Century may have served an essential purpose of catapulting women out of social inequality, did it land us at the far extreme of the other end of the spectrum, competing with our male counterparts as one androgynous species? Or has the breakdown of the tribal communities of yesteryear created a society ill equipped to deal with the feminine (gatherer) and masculine (hunter) roles? Or have we women lost our way in the busi-ness of modern life on a quest to be all things to all people wearing multiple hats (especially the single mums among us)? Or have we women simply lost a connection with ourselves and our very essence– our divine feminine- that trickles down to all aspects of our lives? Or perhaps it a combination of all of the above? Whatever the reason, it is clear that the modern woman of today seeks a more balanced middle ground where she can relish in being a feminine goddess and all that that entails, while simultaneously holding space as a powerful force of nature, creating and embellishing greatness and using her powers discerningly and only for the greater good. 

Below are 10 things that I have instinctively (rather than intentionally) used that made me “soften” and tap into my divine feminine over the past few years:

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1. Softly closing the door on toxic relationships

Frida Gustavsson photographed by Benjamin Vnuk

There are times when we need to close the door on relationships with people who cross our boundaries, affront our values, no longer respect or love us, or no longer enrich our lives. Most of us at some point in our lives have had relationships with people who leave us feeling utterly drained of energy or yuk inside, or we sense that they are trying to drag us down, or belittle us at every chance. If a relationship isn’t serving you, it’s ok to gently close the door on it. If you don’t, the consequence is a disconnect which hardens you. It’s hard to feel soft,  feminine and open when you are feeling stressed, belittled, violated, disrespected or drained. You close up, and harden, to protect yourself. 

The key here is gently and lovingly closing the door on that relationship. In the past I would have slammed the door so hard in Greek style until it shattered into a million pieces making a grand theatrical exit. I’m not proud of the way I have exited certain relationships. It takes much courage and a strong sense of dignity to be firm yet gentle with people who no longer serve us. 

In place of relationships that no longer serve me, I have sought out and befriended people who add so much love and value to my life. People who enrich me no end. Women who are not afraid to speak their truth, be authentic, inspire others and unashamedly express their divine femininity. 

You are a reflection of whom you befriend and your friends are a reflection of you. As I say to my children, chose carefully, and be attracted to those who inspire, uplift, and enrich.

In my day to day life I am making a concerted effort to greet all people like long lost friends – with an open heart, a huge smile and a meeting of the minds. When you greet complete strangers in this way your approach is infectious and it spreads a lighter, softer and happier energy throughout the world. We might not agree with everyone’s point of view or life philosophy, but we can respect it and in them find things to admire.

2. Finding your life’s purpose

While connection with kindred spirits is important (as set out in point 1 above) a connection with oneself is first and foremost paramount. If you feel disconnected with yourself, you are standing on rocky ground. It is more difficult to seek out people who you feel a connection with because you don’t even know what you stand for or what makes you tick. 

Being unhappy in your job hardens you. It’s hard to feel soft and feminine when you are feeling stressed or unhappy with your work. When you are doing something that you love and feel connected with, you can unleash your love and light on the world and shine bright. If you can’t leave your job for the moment, focus on the parts about it that you do love- something must have attracted you to it in the first place. Put strategies in place to transition over time to something that you find a greater connection with.  Or seek out hobbies and interests outside of work that you have a strong connection with so that that aspect of your life is nurtured.  From that space, larger things may bloom. Reach out to organisations that you want to work for. To share a story close to my heart, one of my friends once volunteered to work for her dream company in her dream role as they had no paid role for her, and then when she proved how amazing and indispensible she was, they created a role for her and she worked her way to the very top over 10 years. Where there’s a will there’s a way. 

3. Softening into nutrition

Softening into nutrition means eating what I want, when I want, according to the dictates of my body. When you really become attune with your body and listen to its cues, you know what it needs. It might need more carbs (I opt for root veggies like baked potato chips), or more fat (upping my butter intake or having pure cream for dessert might do the trick), or more protein. Heck, I might need chocolate (the best quality raw dark chocolate of course rather than the cheap crappy variety). 

Softening into nutrition doesn’t mean that I eat junk food. When you view and treat your body like a temple, and come from a place of self-love and self-respect, then you don’t abuse your body. Instead you respect it and nurture it and want the best for it. You don’t want to fill it up with junk food (junk food is called that for a reason- it’s junk!!). I view junk food (which includes all processed and nutrient-devoid foods) as rubbish and not as real food so it wouldn’t cross my mind to eat it. It was a journey to get to that place though and to discover and create healthy swaps.  Food is not just a source of nourishment and energy, it is also very much a source of pleasure. So if a certain “food” genuinely gives you pleasure and makes you feel good (and be honest with yourself here) then if you crave it for God’s sake eat it, because you’re probably not ready to give it up (just yet).  Softening into nutrition doesn’t mean throwing caution to the wind and eating gluten if you’re a celiac, or eating foods that will set back your medical or digestive condition. That’s self-sabotage, not softening into nutrition. 

Softening into nutrition means that I don’t beat myself up if I overeat nutritious food on occasion. Softening into nutrition means that as much as I try to avoid gluten (even though I don’t have the celiac gene), the occasional consumption of smallish amounts of sourdough bread is not something that I now flinch over at all (and I can tell you that there was a time at the start of my traditional wholefoods journey when for 2 solid years not a single grain ever passed my lips). Softening into nutrition means consuming small amounts of foods I wouldn’t ordinarily eat in the context of being social or gracious if a family member or friend has lovingly cooked a meal for me. 

Softening into nutrition means that I certainly don’t ever punish myself through starvation, or skimping on meals or gorging myself until I feel sick. It means never going to those extremes. It means that I eat 2 to 3 solid nutrient-dense meals a day meals according to the dictates of my hunger. Softening into nutrition means never feeling stressed or anxious about food. It’s being in a healthy relationship with food and making food and the preparation of it an immensely enjoyable, pleasurable and nourishing experience, on every level. 

Softening into nutrition means for those of you who have not already done so, finding a connection with the food you are eating:  being vitally concerned with the source and processing of it and learning how to properly and lovingly prepare it (rather than exclusively outsourcing this integrally feminine role).

4. Softening my mental chatter with positive thoughts

I have blogged about the importance of embracing a positive frame of mind most recently here as well as here. What you say to yourself is so critical to the way you view yourself and life in general. Changing my inner dialogue from largely negative to largely positive has had a huge impact on making me feel happier, softer, and more feminine. My self chatter used to be like a war zone. Us woman can be so damn hard on ourselves.  When we are hard on ourselves, we harden.  Beating yourself up with self talk like “How on earth am I going to get through the thousand things I need to do right now; no one is helping me; I can’t believe how much laundry is produced by this family; here we go AGAIN with school lunches; what the hell am I going to cook for dinner; why can’t anyone pick up after themselves around here; I’m such a failure; is this ALL I have achieved in life; nothing I do turns out right; I’m never going to find a partner etc etc ” only serves to make us feel resentful, unhappy and hard. Catch yourself when you say these things and swap all the negative chatter for positive thoughts as I detailed in my blog here.  And when disaster strikes, instead of opting for a doom and gloom woe-is-me victim mentality try to find the life lesson in it and what the universe is trying to teach you as I detailed in one of my previous blogs here. 

5. Softening my view on my body image

This is a huge topic worthy of an independent blog post in its own right which I will write one day. But suffice to say that the way we view our body image is intricately related to our relationship with food (point 3 above), which in turn is intricately related to our relationship with ourselves (point 2 above) as flavoured by our inner dialogue (point 4 above) and the company we keep (point 1 above). It all stems back to this: if you don’t love yourself you’ve wont ever be happy with how you look in the mirror no matter how toned, thin or svelte you are and no matter if everyone else is telling you how freakin’ awesome and sexy you look. It will fall on deaf ears. Even if you are underweight you will insist that you are fat or overweight or need to lose a few kilos. I am health coaching a few clients at the moment with this very issue and I can relate wholeheartedly to them because I used to walk in their shoes. I used to be obsessed with having a flat stomach, a thigh gap, measuring the circumference of my inner thighs and being ridiculously thin (to the point of losing my period). Unsurprisingly I had a horrific relationship with food -it would pervade my every waking (and often dream-state) thought to the point of becoming stressful and painful- and I would oscillate from binging to starving myself.  The bathroom scales ruled by life and my daily measure of self-worth would be the number that it showed every morning like a judgement handed down declaring me either guilty (if the number was great than 50kg!!) or innocent (anything that started with a 4). 

When we have rigid and unrealistic views on what we should look like in the mirror we can’t possibly feel soft and feminine as we are constantly feeling disappointed with ourselves. We harden by becoming stressed and embittered. We become jealous over those with more coveted bodies (thinking how happy we would be if only…).

Looking back now I can’t even relate to the person who I was - that 48kg woman standing 168cm tall. She is a far cry from who I am today but letting go of her meant closing the door on a toxic relationship with a friend who was fuelling this fire (point 1 above). It meant learning to love myself wholeheartedly again and pouring my energies into meaningful, soul-enriching work (point 2 above) and cultivating a healthy and sustainable relationship with food (point 3 above). 

Softening my view on my body image means that:

• I no longer own bathroom scales so I no longer weigh myself (because when you weigh yourself all you are weighing is your self esteem)

• I have no idea how much I weigh and I really don’t care as the number is completely irrelevant to my health and happiness

• I can look at myself in the mirror (which happens occasionally) and think how healthy and fit I look for my age having had 2 kids

• I do not give a rats arse about thigh gaps or a 6 pack. If these are the natural consequence of eating a wholefoods diet and leading a fit and healthy life, then kudos to you sister! But they are NOT a coveted goal in and of themselves

• I embrace my curves 

• I confidently know that if I eat 2-3 solid nutrient-dense wholefood meals a day in the context of an active lifestyle with plenty of pure water and sleep, I will certainly not become overweight. Ever. 

• I wear what ever I want (usually what makes me feel most comfortable). 

Hallelujah sister! What a blessed relief to let go of that baby! 

6. Softening the lighting in my house at night with amber lights

I grew up with fluoro lights on full tilt at my parent’s house. Think of a supermarket and you’ve got the picture. My parents can’t stand dim lights. Bright lights, day and night, is all I’ve known. So when I set up my own house at 23 and right up until recently, on when bright lights, all over the house once it got even slightly dark. Right up to the point of bedtime, when I then expected my bedazzled body to instantly fall asleep. 

I used to think my friends who were all into blue blocking glasses and amber lights were too OTT. They had replaced most of the blue light bulbs in their house with amber light globes, put special blue light blocking filters on all their screens and the very minute the sun goes down they would put on their blue blocking ezekiel glasses (“blue blockers”).  I would roll my eyes. I mean, really? This is too much, I used to think. 

Then more and more research would fly my way about the importance of sleep. Ok, I get that sleep is absolutely fundamentally important to our health so much so that it is relegated to what I call one of the 8 foundations of health. I know that you can make an animal or human insulin resistant simply by sleep depriving it, without changing its diet at all. Sleep is profoundly powerful. And both the quality and quality of it count.  I personally skimped on sleep for a very long time at various points in my life, and saw the impact it had on my health. Nowadays, I’m very precious about my sleep. It takes number 1 priority over my evenings and unless I’m health coaching or running a workshop I’m pretty much in bed with my kids at 8pm. And loving it. I could smash out more blogs, have published 5 cook books by now and have umpteen online programs if I squeezed an extra few hours of work into my evenings but I have chosen, instead, to sleep.  That’s how damn important it is to me. 

But what I didn’t fully appreciate was this: the light that is emitted in ordinary artificial light bulbs around your house contains blue light (even though it doesn’t look blue to the naked eye). This blue light interrupts our circadian rhythm by suppressing the sleep hormone melatonin, thus thwarting our ability to fall asleep as the body thinks it’s still daytime. Historically, prior to the invention of electricity, our ancestors would sit by candle light (which emits low amounts of blue light) or they would simply sleep after the sun went down. Our ancestors honoured the rhythm of nature and the daily cycle of rising with the sun and sleeping with the sun. So if you take the view that sleep – and circadian rhythm- is fundamentally important to our health, then anything that hinders or disturbs that – like artificial blue lights at night- is something to be taken very seriously. Even if exposure to artificial light does not effect your ability to fall asleep, and hence you think you don’t need to protect yourself with blue blockers and amber lights, then think again. A study published in PubMed showed that “light at night markedly increases the growth of human breast cancer xenografts in rats. In humans, the theory that light exposure at night increases breast cancer risk leads to specific predictions that are being tested epidemiologically: evidence has accumulated on risk in shift workers, risk in blind women, and the impact of sleep duration on risk. If electric light at night does explain a portion of the breast cancer burden, then there are practical interventions that can be implemented, including more selective use of light and the adoption of recent advances in lighting technology and application.”

So I started, slowly, reducing night time exposure to artificial light by making a few sleep hygiene changes. I started replacing a few of the light globes around the house with amber light globes, I started wearing amber coloured blue blocking glasses at night, and I invested in a few salt lamps that give off a gorgeous amber glow instead of turning the lounge room downlights on. If nothing else, the house now looks aesthetically beautiful at night with a soft amber hue. Unwittingly, through these soft lights, my nervous system started softening as I started getting used to this visual “softness”. But the clincher came when I would inadvertently expose myself to artificial white light at night without my blue blockers -  the brightness of the artificial light would be so intense I can not describe it as anything other than disturbing. Disturbing to my nervous system. Akin to someone playing really really loud music, or screaming in my ear. The shock wired me up, harden me and left me feeling rattled. I didn’t expect this. Just like junk food, I didn’t like how it made my feel, once I had experienced the alternative. But unless and until I experienced the alternative, I didn’t know any better. All I can say is check it out for yourself. Don’t turn on any artificial white lights at night for a good month and then see the difference to your mood and sleep.  

7. Playing soft music before bed

I love dancing and bopping away to Top 40 but once I’m home from work I go into wind down mode. Smooth tunes, vintage piano, classical or anything that isn’t stimulating serves to soften, soothe and calm.  

8. Softening with essential oils

I will never hang my hat on any one thing (as there never is one panacea), but since I started using Young Living essential oils daily (as face moisturiser with olive oil, to diffuse in the house, as a household cleaner, occasionally in my food, and on soles of my feet when I’m feeling a bit sick) I have felt so much calmer, happier, and healthier. My emotions are more on an even keel with fewer lows. My skin is glowing like never before and my kids are so much more chilled out. There’s less fighting, yelling and screaming in my house. 

Essential oils are what I call nature in a bottle. They are a powerfully potent extract of the life force of the plant and without them the plant wouldn’t exist (hence the term “essential”). Essential oils like Lavender or the blend Stress Away have a powerfully calming effect on your mental state, taking the edge off stress and anxiety. When I diffuse them in my house they immediately whisk me away to “chill out land”. And when I’m about to enter into something I find rather stressful - like sitting through a piano practice with my kids-  the conversation might go somethinglike “Mummy is going to diffuse some lavender oil this afternoon because mummy really doesn’t feel like screaming her lungs out at you.” And for some reason, the oils really work. They calm my nervous system and mummy’s piano temper tantrums have all but subsided. Much to my kids’ (and neighbours’) relief. I still throw the occasional wobbly (Greek-Cypriot tempers die hard) but not on the same scale and frequency as in times gone by. 

As an aside, I am very frequently asked why I chose Young Living essential oils. Simply put, it is because independent research shows time and again that they are of the highest quality the world over. Putting aside that they are the largest essential oil company in the world, they are the only essential oil company in the world that own all of the farms where their oils are harvested so they have total control and visibility from “seed to seal”.  As I am extremely cautious with what I put in and on my and my kids body, I always seek out the very best quality- whether its food or personal care products.  Like food, not all essential oils are the same! To purchase these oils (which are the purest and the most powerful on earth) and become a wholesale customer with 24% discount refer to this blog here. Treat them like a powerful medicinal tonic, as that is what they are. A little goes a very long way. 

9. Softening my exercise regime

I used to be hard core about doing intense exercise 3-4 times a week. I used to beat myself up about missing a class and fear of instantly blowing up like an air bag. Looking back, I spent most of my time when I was training in that way in a state of acute neck and shoulder pain. I also started looking and feeling more masculine and less feminine with larger biceps and traps and more bulky muscles in general. It wasn’t at all the fault of the PTs or the gyms -  it was me overdoing it and overtaxing my already overtaxed muscles. I have also overdone yoga numerous times, because of over pushing myself, resulting in breaking bones (yes, even in a yoga class). The point is not the exercise itself but how you approach it.  What I really needed was more gentle exercise to nourish and restore my body, not rip it apart and stress it more.  The type and intensity of your exercise really needs to suit your body and where you are at in your life. If you are going through something extremely stressful and already doing lots of functional movement through day to day life (like setting up a retail shop with 13 staff… just sayin’), then frequent and intense exercise will simply be an extra stressor on your already stressed out body. 

Choose exercises that you genuinely enjoy and make you feel good. If that’s interval training, then awesome. Do not exercise out of fear of what may happen if you don’t do it. Walking, rock scrambling, rock climbing, yoga, dancing and fascia release suit me perfectly. But everyone is different. I haven’t done interval training in years now, and guess what, even though there are parts of me that really miss it, I am gentle enough with myself now to know that at this stage of my life it just aint gonna work with what I have on my plate, and that I can function well without it, and look and feel great if I get in some stretching, fascia release and walking on a regularish basis. 

10. Spending time in nature

You can’t help but become more gentle, softer and connected with yourself when you connect with mother nature. Whether it’s the beach, a coastal walk, a bush walk or even a long stroll through a beautiful park, spending time outdoors is like hitting the reset button, because, fundamentally, nature is where we belong. 

Spending too much time indoors, wires and hardens us. Notice how your energy instantly changes when you step outside. If you work indoors, try to have your lunch outside in the sun and spend as much of your leisure time outdoors. If you can’t spend as much time in nature as you wish to, then bring nature to your house. Fill your home with plants (do this even if you do spend a great deal of time in nature!).  Not only does your house take on a softer, greener and more beautiful dimension, caring for plants is a very nurturing (hence feminine) role and watching them grow and thrive is hugely satisfying. Boston ferns (these absorb moisture), Peace Lilies (these siphon off VOCs),  Sansevieria aka Mother in Law’s Tongue (a potent oxygen producer at night), and Fiddle Leaf Fig trees (which look freakin’ amazing) are what I have mostly filled my house with. “It looks like a jungle in here”, observed my 11 year old. “Then mission accomplished!” I replied. 

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I guess what each of these 10 points have in common is this: they are all guiding us to live a life that more closely resembles how we are designed to live. When we minimise the gap between our biology and our environment, we can function properly, perform our best and reach our true potential. We can become better versions of ourselves. We start to feel more connected with ourselves. And as females, if our very nature is to be soft and feminine, we can better connect with that side of us. 

I hope you found this post insightful. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the above and any other ways that you have softened and tapped into your feminine.